Chow's Job
by Crayola Emoticon
Summary: Tarakudo has been defeated, and the Enforcers are out of a job. when Chow lands a job, what sort of job is it, and how will his friends react? may be romance later on. Rated for safety. The sequel is a crossover with Halloween called Shelby Lynne.
1. Chapter 1

**Chow's New Job**

**By **

**Crayola Emoticon**

Disclaimer: I do not own Jackie Chan Adventures or anything related to such. I am only borrowing some characters for entertainment, not profit.

13B13B

"This sucks!"

That was Chow, of course. Tarakudo had been defeated, and the Enforcers were, as per usual, out of a job. Which was why the excitable, kitten-faced man was ranting as they walked down the street.

"Hey, hey. Calm down, Chow. It's not all bad."

"Yeah! That sunset is sure pretty!"

Finn and Chow stared at Ratso, eyebrows raised.

"What?"

Finn sighed, clapping a hand on the small man's shoulder. "Anyways, things are gonna get better."

"Hey! These honey buns are great!"

_What buns?_ Finn and Chow again turned to Ratso to see him munching on some rather questionable-looking pastries.

"Uhhh… Ratso?" Finn began.

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you get those?" Chow finished, pointing at said items.

Ratso shrugged. "Trash can."

There was a pause in which Chow's eye might have twitched. (We can never tell because of those weird orange glasses he's always wearing.) Then he snapped.

"!"

He took off running down the street, screaming. Finn and Ratso stared in shock for a moment, then took off after him.

"Chow! Wait!"

"C'mon, little buddy!"

They finally caught up to him by the piers. He was doubled over, hands on his knees, panting and exhausted after his freak-out.

Finn again clapped his hand on his shoulder. "As I was saying, I saw a Help Wanted ad in the paper. Three bussing positions open at a restaurant. That's where we're headed."

"Really? I thought we were just wandering around aimlessly." Ratso commented, touching a finger to his lower lip.

Finn glared at him, then turned back to Chow. "The place is just across the street. Catch your breath and we'll head in."

Chow took a few deep breaths, then fixed Finn a sharp look. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh."

"Eh. Let's go." Chow said, getting up and dusting himself off.

The restaurant was called Santago's. (I made that up! If it's the name of a real restaurant, I'm sorry!) They were greeted at the door by a woman who'd had so many treatments to look younger that she actually looked older.

Finn turned on the charm. "Hi, we're looking for a job…"

"We only have girls working here. And very convincing cross-dressers. You folks won't fool anyone. Come inside and we'll get you something to eat." So saying, she stepped aside, discreetly pulling Chow aside as he walked past.

"You'll do." She said to him and dragged him to the back.

"Girls! Makeover!"

"WHAT!" was all Chow could manage before he was tackled by about eight girls, all squealing like banshees.

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_There aren't very many alcoholic beverages here, _Finn mused as he pored over the menu.

"Hey, where's Chow?" Ratso asked.

Finn glanced up. Chow was indeed missing. "Uhh…"

"I passed him on his way to the bathroom."

"GWAH!" The lady had sneaked up on them. "What'll you have to drink?"

"I'll have a root beer." Finn replied.

"And I'll have a cream soda."

"Hey, Ratso."

"What?"

"What's Chow usually drink?"

"Uhh… Cherry cola. Unless the place doesn't have any. Then he gets a Sprite."

Finn turned to the lady. "Which do you have?"

She smiled. "Both, actually."

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"HELP!"

Chow struggled to get free, but the girls had him pinned. They had stripped him to his boxers and waxed his legs and underarms. One was now straddling him and taking measurements. She took off his glasses and examined his face, turning it from side to side. Then she stood up and shouted "STRAWBERRY KIWI!" A bundle of clothes was thrown to her. "Flip him over."

Chow didn't have time to protest before he landed on his stomach. His boxers were ripped off, to be replaced by panties. _What the heck!_

He was flipped back around and his legs were forced into a pair of pale pink, calf length leggings. When that was done, he was yanked to his feet and crammed into a seafoam-green Chinese-cut dress with pink pattern and trim.

"The Chair."

_Wait! What! What chair!_

He was dragged to an overstuffed armchair where he was tied down with wide ribbon so that if he tried to escape, it wouldn't cut into his skin.

One of the girls brought cute little seafoam green shoes, then started painting his fingernails while another did his make-up.

"Your complexion is so perfect! I won't have to use any foundation! Well, except for around your eyes." She said. "But these eyebrows! They need to be waxed."

Chow shuddered. His legs and underarms still stung from the last waxing. He did NOT want it on his face.

"!" #Rip-rip#

"!"

She cleaned off his face and applied blush, then got out a case of multi-coloured eyeliners. There were so many colours, it may as well have been a box of coloured pencils. She put some on his eyes, making them appear larger and coordinating with the outfit. Then the mascara. That was rather frightening.

The girl who had painted his nails clapped her hands and said, "Hair extensions, here!"

Chow's hair, with the extensions attached, was pulled, yanked, and twisted until it was up in two twin buns, with his bangs delicately framing his face.

"All done!" the girls chorused as they showed him to a mirror.

Chow didn't recognize himself. He actually looked like a girl.

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Finn and Ratso were almost done with their meal. They'd had spaghetti. Next to Finn, Chow's plate of spaghetti remained untouched.

Finn sighed. "He's been in the bathroom an awful long time. D'you think he's alright?"

"Aw, maybe he's constipated. Stress can do that to ya."

"Hmm." Finn wasn't convinced.

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When they were done, a cute Chinese girl in a seafoam green dress came to collect their dishes. Finn, predictably, turned on the charm.

"Hey, gorgeous. How's it goin'?" He asked, flashing his best wolf grin. She just gave him a flat stare and motioned to Chow's untouched meal.

"You done with these?"

"No. We're saving that for a friend."

The girl raised an eyebrow at this and whisked away the dishes, leaving Chow's on the table. For the rest of the evening, she was kept busy bussing the tables. Every time she went by their table, Finn would attempt to flirt with her. He was shot down every time, and was even slapped when he caressed her rear.

Finally, at closing time, she flopped down in Chow's seat. Finn leaned over and opened his mouth, but before he could get a word out, she glared at him and barked, "FINN! SHUT. UP!"

Ratso and Finn gaped at her, then Finn gulped.

"Uhh…Chow?"

"Yeah?" She glared some more.

"Why are you in a dress?"

"Don't ask me! Ask those crazy girls! Anyways, have you seen my glasses?"

"… No."

"Here ya go!" This was the girl who had taken measurements. She set them on the table and left.

Chow put them on and his friends finally recognized him. He quickly ate his spaghetti, then took the dishes back to the kitchen.

There, the lady was waiting for him. "Be sure to get here an hour earlier tomorrow. You did a great job!"

Chow digested this. "Does this mean I'm hired?"

"Yep! The extra hour's so you can get ready. Now go get some rest!" She handed him his clothes and shooed him out.

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On their way home, the friends were all thinking different things.

Chow was thinking: _I've got a job! _ _I've got a job!_

Ratso thought: _That outfit really made Chow look like a girl…_

And Finn berated himself. _I can't believe I was flirting with my best friend! _


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Jackie Chan Adventures.

AN: Can you believe what my sleep- deprived brain came up with! I need to start going to bed BEFORE midnight. :O

13B13B

For the next few weeks, Chow's job went smoothly. He had gotten used to the cross-dressing, but Finn still couldn't recognize him and kept hitting on him. Chow was even used to that by now.

Then Captain Black showed up. He liked going to restaurants he'd never been to before when he was bored. That day, he brought the Chan Clan with him. And, no surprise here, Chow was the one serving them!

"What would you like to drink?"

Uncle, Tohru, and Black ordered coffee. Jackie ordered Mountain Dew, and Jade…

"I'll have a hot cocoa." She blinked, then narrowed her eyes at Chow. "Wait a minute! You look familiar…"

"Uhh…" Chow sweatdropped.

"Jade…" Jackie admonished.

"I'm serious! She looks just like Chow!" She gasped. "I didn't know Chow had a twin sister!"

A light bulb went off in Chow's head.

"Uhh… Yeah! My name's Mei Lin. Yours?"

"Jade Chan. How's your brother doing?"

"Actually, I was hoping you could tell me."

Jade's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. He cut off contact with our family four years back. I would love any news of him."

"Well, he probably cut off contact 'cause he's on the wrong side of the law…"

"Jade!" Guess who.

"What?"

"You don't need to tell her that!"

"Hello! She said 'any news'!" She turned back to "Mei Lin" "So, anyways, he's hyper, a somewhat good fighter, and kicks butt at video games!"

"Sounds like he's doing okay." Chow said, smiling.

Jade's smile fell. "Err… not really. He's always winding up out if a job because his employers keep meeting with weird and unfortunate fates."

Chow wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but the Chan girl actually looked guilty.

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Chow kept a close eye on the Chan Clan. When they were halfway through eating, Finn and Ratso came in. The Chans stiffened while Jade did some math. Finn and Ratso minus Chow plus lady that looks like Chow equals—That lady IS Chow!

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Chow took his friends' orders then pointed out the Chans to them.

"Aaaaww man! I don't wanna get in a fight!" Ratso groaned.

"Don't worry. They only seem to be eating. The little one's the only one who even recognized me. Anyways Finn, how's your job goin'?"

Finn, who was a bartender now, shrugged. "Eh. Fights are pretty common, which is where Ratso comes in handy."

Ratso grinned. He was a bouncer at Finn's bar.

"…And there are lots of girls there, too." The red-headed wolf licked his lips.

Chow shuddered. Finn brought different girls to their apartment almost every night. At least it kept Finn from eyeballing _him_. And yet, Finn wasn't as interested in the girls he brought home as he ordinarily have been. He seemed oddly depressed. And while he wasn't outright eyeing him, he still gave him wistful looks when he thought Chow wasn't looking, as though he wished Chow _was_ a girl. It was greatly unnerving.

Ratso was oblivious.

Finally, the Chan Clan left. The Enforcers heaved a collective sigh of relief.

"Did they make you nervous?"

Their hearts leapt to their throats.

It was the measuring girl. Finn, of course, tried flirting with her.

"Hey, how's it goin"….er, what's your name?"

She simply stared at him and Chow felt a shiver run down his spine. It was moments like these when he felt there was something off about her. She didn't seem quite human.

"My name is Tsuki. And yours?"

"Finn, m'lady." He replied, kissing the back of her hand.

"Alright, Fish. I'll keep an eye out for those folks."

Finn deflated. "My name's Finn." He pouted.

Ratso and Chow sniggered behind their hands and Finn glared at them.

Tsuki smirked and left. Chow felt a cold weight settle in his stomach. Was it just him, or did she have fangs?

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Chow and Ratso were rather grouchy that night. The reason? They were slrrping in the hallway again because Finn had brought yet another girl to their apartment. What Chow couldn't believe was, the girl was Tsuki! That girl brought to mind his past employers. Except for Valmont. Valmont was okay. Valmont was human. Chow was sure Tsuki wasn't.

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When Finn got up the next morning, he was unusually looked downright ill, and Tsuki, who was normally very pale, was absolutely ruddy.

"Oh, man, Finn! What happened to you?" Ratso queried. "You look awful."

"Yeah. You look like you've been attacked by a vampire." Chow stated.

Finn groaned. "I _feel_ like I've been attacked by a vampire. Thing is, I don't remember anything that happened last night."

Chow and Ratso looked at each other, then at Finn.

"Hey, Finn, I think you better stay in bed today. You look like you're gonna collapse at any moment." Ratso said, pressing his palm to Finn's forehead to check for a temperature. Upon contact, he froze, then snatched his hand away and stared at it.

Finn blinked at him, then yawned. His friend's eyes bugged at what they saw.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Have a nice day, guys." With that, Finn retreated back to bed.

As they were walking down the hall, Chow asked, "What's up with your hand?"

"Finn is freezing. No temperature at all. And did you see those fangs?"

"Yeah. Do you think vampires exist?"

"Nahh. …Do they?" Ratso was scared.

"I dunno. Let's ask old man Chan."

Ratso brightened. Of course! If anyone knew, it would be Uncle.

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"AAAAIIIII-YAAAHH! NO EVIL VILLIANS IN UNCLE'S SHOP!"

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

Uncle had given them his trademark two-finger slap.

Chow rubbed his stinging forehead. "Hey, calm down, Uncle! We just wanna ask you something!"

Ratso nodded.

Uncle glared at them suspiciously, still poised to fight. "Weell? Don't keep Uncle waaaaaitiiing!"

"Do vampires exist?" Ratso blurted.

"OF COOOURSE vampires exist! Now GET OOUTT!"

Chow ducked and held up his hands. "But we've got a problem! We think Finn might've been… turned… by one."

All the color drained from Uncle's face. "Ai-yah!" He whispered, then jumped back to demands. "What are his signs?"

"Well, his skin is cold, he looks anemic, he appears to have grown fangs overnight, and he's got a fanged bite on his neck." Ratso rattled off, counting them off on his fingers.

Uncle gasped. "European Vampire! JACKIIIEEEE! Get suitcase fom under stairs! One mooore thing! Bring lots of extra garlic!"

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Chow and Ratso waited nervously in the hallway while Uncle examined the sleeping Finn. Eventually, he came out shaking his head.

"The change has completely taken. He is full vampire now. Uncle can do nothing."

Morosely, he left.

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When Chow came home from work that night, he found a much better looking Finn and a dazed-looking Ratso sitting on the couch and watching TV.

Finn looked up as the door opened. "Hey, Chow! How you doing?"

"I'm fine. And are you feeling better?" Chow asked warily.

"Never better! I feel great! Ratso seems kinda out of it, though. He said he saw Tsuki at the bar and can't remember anything after that."

Chow peered closely at his friend's face. Poor Ratso was horribly pale with punctures on his neck. He felt his forehead to find it corpse-cold. Chow lifted Ratso's upper lip, dreading what he would find.

Fangs.

Chow sighed in resignation. He wasn't surprised at all. They all knew that if something happened to one of them, it happened to all of them. Like evil magical beings always wanting to "hire" them. Like all three of them getting into car accidents on the same day when they were all in diiferent parts of the city. Or all three apartments catching fire within a week. Finn's car and Ratso's apartment survived, so now they lived together and carpooled everywhere. They were practically a box set.

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He wasn't surprised that night when, as he was watching TV and his friends were sleeping, he felt feather-light touches caressing his neck. He shivered involuntarily, then felt cold breath. He tilted his head, further exposing his vulnerable throat. Might as well get it over with. The fangs stilled and the breath hitched, startled. Then the fangs sank in and everything went black.

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When he came t o, Chow found Ratso up and about and Finn blaring those horrid disco tunes of his on his iHome.

He felt like crap. His mouth was dry and tasted like shit, and his stomach seemed to be trying to eat itself. Yet the very thought of food made him want to vomit.

Ratso saw him stirring. "Hey, it's best not to move so much. Just lie still until she comes."

_Until who comes?_

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It was several hours before "she" showed up. Tsuki, of course. No surprise there.

She glided in, seemingly unnoticed by the other two. When she got to him, she sat on the other end of the couch.

"Time for your first feed, fledgling. Who shall it be?"

Chow blinked. He didn't want to kill anyone! Why couldn't it just be a trip to the blood bank?

"Before you ask, other vampires have done research on the fresh-or-bag first feed debate. Fledglings who take bags as their first feed never recover from the changeover illness. So you have a choice. You may take a bag and remain in the nauseated state you are currently in, or you may kill someone and become much stronger. Your choice."

Chow knew exactly who he was gonna get. "Chan."

Tsuki imitated a buzzer, which was astonishingly painful on Chow's Newly sensitive ears. "Sorry. Fish already got Jackie Chan. Rat wanted Tohru, but the old man with the lizard and blowfish amped up the protecion wards. Can't get in."

"Black."

"Again, no go. Since he couldn't get Tohru or the other Chans, Rat offed him."

Chow went through a list of former employees. Valmont. Why would he ever want to kill him? Shendu? Trapped as a statue under Section 13. Tarakudo? He's a **mask.** Daolong Wong? Yeah.

"Wong." He said.

Tsuki smiled and clapped a hand on his shoulder. Next thing he knew, they were standing in front of the dark wizard's creepy house.

The world spun and Chow felt disoriented. When he had steadied himself, he straightened his shoulders and said, "Let's go."

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**Phew! Finally updated! Thank yous to CrashandWarriorsFan123 and melinie17 for reviewing! ^_^ gives them pixie stix* To be honest, I kept forgetting about this T-T I think I'll change the category, cause it's just not that funny anymore. Please keep reading and reviewing! Reveiws are like candy! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**HELLOOO, READERS! ^_^ I LUVS U ALL! *HUGS* THIRD AND FINAL CHAPPIE UP! I HOPE YOU ENJOY! XD** BY THE WAY, I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY BRAIN, AND I THINK IT'S ON THIS SITE HERE. COULD YOU HELP ME FIND IT, PLEASE?

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Chow moved as quietly as he could through Daolon Wong's house, which wasn't very quiet at all, due to the dizzy stumbling caused by the transition illness.

He finally found the old wizard sleeping in his chambers. Simply looking at him filled Chow with revulsion and loathing. Oh, how he hated that wizard…

Wong, apparently sensing him in his sleep, snorted and began to stir. Before he could open his eyes, Chow latched onto his throat and started greedily drinking the blood that flowed. As he drank, he felt an odd sense of power building up inside himself, and with it, knowledge of all the spells the dark wizard knew.

Chow stood, leaving the wizard's dry corpse on the bed. He grasped Wong's chi staff, and it glowed in response. Along with the knowledge of the spells had also come the knowledge that whoever killed a dark chi wizard inherited his powers and knowledge. He used one of those spells to teleport back to the apartment.

Outside Wong's house, Tsuki smiled to herself. Her plan had succeeded.

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Uncle looked up as the door to his shop opened. In walked Jackie and Captain Black, both formerly dead and now looking extremely ill. After them came Tsuki.

She walked right up to Uncle and said, "Please destroy me, sir. My purpose is complete. Besides, once you destroy me, Jackie and Black will be returned to normal."

Uncle eyed her warily. "And what **waass** your purpose here?"

"To destroy the last Dark wizard."

"Ah."

Uncle got out his lizard and blowfish and started his chant.

"**Yu Mo Guay Gui Fai Di Tzou**

**Yu Mo Guay Gui Fai Di Tzou**

**Yu Mo Guay Gui Fai Di Tzou**

**Yu Mo Guay Gui Fai Di Tzou**

**Yu Mo Guay Gui Fai Di Tzou"**

A green beam of light shot from the blowfish's mouth and enveloped Tsuki. She began to glow, and eventually dissipated in a shower of glowing particles.

Jackie and Black, meanwhile, woke up with the nastiest headaches ever.

"What? Uncle? What happened?"

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As they slept, the Enforcers became humans again, Chow, however, retained the Dark chi and knowledge he had taken from Daolon Wong.

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It's the end! Wow, that chapter was short! I hope you liked it! ^_^ Oh, and seriously, I 'm sure I lost my brain on Ffnet, and my grades have really suffered! If you find it, please let me know, and review! If you send flames, Drago will catch them and use them to make s;mores and heat my house! Byebye for now! ^_^


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